As Citizen of the Month is wont to say, “…We are all binary numbers zooming along the internet tubes, side by side, sharing the same home. We are all individuals, pioneers in this new medium, expressing ourselves in a way unheard of in the previous generation.”
As random luck would have it, my comment landed on the thread directly after Angela’s from Lost in Splendor. I say luck, because having the opportunity (and excuse) to interview her took me on a journey from the (relative) comfort of my eccentric life and on a mission to learn something completely new.
Join me for a moment in a world where Neil’s version of Mister Roger’s Neighborhood brought together a Buddhism-studying, mountain-climbing, river-kayaking, scotch-imbibing writer from Alaska and a 100% German, bunny-hugging, style-conscious lesbian from Pennsylvania. Here is the introduction and interview, exactly as we experienced it:
I emailed her out of the clear blue:
You don’t know me from anybody and here I’m about to get all kinds of personal with you and interview you for Citizen of the Month’s great interview experiment. I put together a list of questions which are by no means comprehensive, inclusive, exclusive or even things you want to discuss.
If you hate one of the questions, feel free to tell me so- I’ll come up with a new one. I tried to write them the same way I would ask them in person, if you and I sat down together at a coffee shop.
Surprisingly, she answered all my questions:
1. The name of your blog is “Lost in Splendor”. There’s indication that this is not your first blog, so is the title a carry-over or is it something all together brand new?
This is actually my third blog! I began blogging in 2003 at a website called Xanga. A friend of mine begged me to join and I was hooked to blogging instantly. At the time I was 19, me and my significant other had gone on a break, I just moved into a new apartment and worked at a job that had me in front of a computer for 8 hours a day.
After I got into other blogs and more involved in commenting I knew it was time to get a website of my own. I called it SparklieSunShine, which was sort of an inside thing. Sparklie being a fun way we used to describe gay people and sunshine was my nickname growing up. However, when my ex and I broke up after being together for almost 7 years I needed something new. Something that was my own. Lost In Splendor was born!
2. KC seems to be one of the defining forces of nature in your life: tell me four things about her that the entire world NEEDS to know. Tell me one thing that you would change about your relationship with her.
She certainly was! She’s much more shy about the whole blogging thing (even though I got her to keep up her own blog for almost a month!) Let’s see….1) She is an amazing songwriter. She doesn’t share many with me. I fear I’m too enthusiastic, but I do feel that she could easily have a job as a professional songwriter. 2) She has been to Paris, twice and Hawaii once. I am SO very jealous of that! 3) She could also work as a travel planner. Whenever we go on trips she always picks great hotels, books amazing activities and take us to fantastic restaurants. I’m seriously in awe of that ability. 4) She’s extremely caring about the environment, world issues and animals. I don’t think many people would easily get that from her.
(I really hope I’m not being too long winded with my answers!)
The only thing I would change about our relationship is that I wish we were more settled and secure. We met each other during that transition period in your mid twenties (We’ve been together since 2007) and we’re not at the jobs we would like, we don’t have the savings we want and we definitely aren’t living in the space we would like to be. However, we do have a plan in motion. So in the next two years we’re looking forward to some big changes. Right now I think that’s the only thing.
3. You’ve made the choice to keep blogging long after it stopped being easy, convenient and just-for-fun. You write the hard stuff. The things you do and say, uncensored and unfiltered. You’ve grown into self-esteem and courage. Tell me about your journey and what keeps bringing you back to your blog.
Blogging has been the one constant thing I have kept going with. I feel like I have to keep going with it and not give up so easily. It has been a comfort to me through so many hard times in my life. I think back to when I worked alone in an office and was literally alone all day long. What a comfort it was to have this blog and my lovely readers to make me not feel so alone.
When I was going through my break-up I literally lost every good friend I had. Literally! Some of them felt like they didn’t, but every aspect of our relationship changed and most just simply stopped talking to me. That was really hard for me because I don’t make friends easily. Through all that the friends I made through blogging stuck by me. Those people still read and email me today. That really showed me this isn’t just about posting on the Internet for nothing. It’s about making connections. That keeps me coming back, always.
My posts also can be a little scrambled, words might be misspelled, etc… This is because I don’t edit. I know! So bad of me! I just know that if I edited I probably wouldn’t say what I wanted and I would tone it down more. No editing for me.
4. How far is the farthest you have travelled from PA ? Where did you go and why? What made you come back?
I still have only ever lived in PA. My parent’s still own and live in the same home I was born in and my two older brothers still live with them. My older sister lives down the road! People don’t seem to move easily around here. The farthest I have traveled was the Caribbean on a Disney Cruise, but I had to come back when the trip ended. Boo. I don’t intend on living in the Poconos forever. I hope to move to Philadelphia in the next two years and there are many other locations in the US I would be thrilled to live. One step at a time.
5. Your writing expresses a tremendous amount of solidity and consistency in your relationship with KC, mostly by what is unsaid. In your opinion, what is the key to communicating with her?
Oh goodness. My relationship with KC continues to surprise and amaze me. She really lightens up my life. I am a far better person when I am with her. She completely balances me.
The most important key to communication in our relationship is that from the beginning we have acknowledged that relationships are work. We continuously make the effort to do nice things for each other as often as possible, we never take our free time together for granted, we are careful to communicate our feelings and we try to always make sure we express our appreciation for one another. That seems to be working well right now, though by both our admissions we still seem to be in the honeymoon stage of the relationship. We’ll see what years to come bring. I just feel blessed everyday to have her in my world.
6. Why bunnies?
Through owning them and working at a Pet Store I have found bunnies to be the completely perfect pet for me. I really don’t get on well with others who own rabbits though. I’m pretty strict with how I care for her and it breaks my heart to hear of rabbits being mistreated.
They are silent, cute eaters, good snugglers, clean, trainable, adorable and endearing. I’m madly in love with my Penelope and I am constantly trying to get KC to let us get another one. (That probably won’t happen for a while.) They are definitely my favorite animal.
7. Which single blogger makes you come back for more, like a crazed addict, and if s/he doesn’t post often enough you feel the need to go back and re-read things from their archives?
Hands down, Mimi Smartypants . Especially when I worked my office job if she hadn’t posted and I was on my lunch break I would eat my lunch while reading her archives. I have read every single one of her entries and I own her book. Hers is the very first blog I ever read and she introduced me in one way or another to all my other favorite bloggers. Plus I have never corresponded with her (well she’s never responded to me, lol) so I don’t feel like I’m crazy for reading everything. I’m just a fan! If I read my blog friends sites that much I would feel like a stalker.
8. What single habit would you break if you were given a free pass to do so effortlessly?
I would totally kick my sugar/soda addiction. I love both so much! I never realized how addicted and how much I crave them until I tried to stop eating both. Good lord! I would love to break my dessert habit. For serious. I could eat just dessert. I love it all. So sad for me.
9. When you look twenty years down the road, where do you see yourself?
You’re going to make me look like a mushy hopeless romantic! In 20 years I will be 45 so I’ll still be pretty young. I hope to be married to KC with a job I love (or that pays decent!) and living in a nice home. Not big, not expensive just nice. I would also LOVE to have children by then. I really want to adopt at least two, hopefully one that is a little older. That would be nice. I see myself living in a completely new area. I see myself happy.
10. What is the one single thing that you would admit is at the absolute top of your “bucket list”?
This is so stupid. I want to lose some weight. If I’m being honest and I had to choose one thing before I die it would be that. Believe me I’m working on it right now. I say it’s stupid because I am just extremely turned off by the whole world of fad diets and perfect body weights. I don’t care if I’m bigger. That’s fine with me…just maybe not this big. I would like to get under 200 lbs. Hopefully that will happen sooner than later. It is my #1 though, which really annoys me about myself right now. Haha!
11. What makes you laugh uncontrollably, un-self-consciously, with tears of glee streaming down your face?
Wow! That is some good laughter! I don’t laugh easily. KC laughs at pretty much everything and I find that very attractive about her. I guess it takes a little more to get me. I think scheming makes me laugh the most. I love plotting silly schemes and shenanigans. I think the last time I laughed that hard KC and I were just talking about silly little pranks we could pull on our friends.
12. You’ve made peace with yourself and accepted who you are and what you’re about. You used to be a tomboy, and had the power-to-weight ratio of a busy child: climbing trees, swinging from the monkey bars… do you ever talk to that child? What does she say?
Everyone says I am the most girlie person they know so it really is funny to me to think back to those days and try to think about my thoughts and feelings then. I never wanted to feel like I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t want anything to be impossible. I hope that part of my tomboy days is still with me. That yearning for adventure, never wanting to avoid doing something just because it was something women ordinarily do.
Then there is the other part, the me in over sized boys clothing because I didn’t want to dress like a middle aged church lady. That part still hurts me a little. I remember so desperately wanting to dress like everyone else my age and not being able to fit into juniors clothing I wore the skater boy cloths. It so was the opposite of who I really am and I feel bad I dressed like that for so long. It even affected the friends I attracted! I would give that me a really big hug and tell her things were going to get better. It’s most of the reason I don’t wear pants now.
13. At my heaviest, I weighed 306 pounds. I was a size 28. If you had met me then, would you have passed any judgment or made any assumptions about what I was capable of accomplishing?
Being a larger person myself I try to never make assumptions about anyone based on their weight. I would however carefully scrutinize your outfit. I would either be very impressed or very dismayed. I love larger women with confidence!
14. What’s your favorite color of toenail polish (I know you never paint your fingernails)?
Red! I love having my toenails painted red. I own several different shades and OPI is my favorite brand of nail polish.
15. You are 100% German. When you have kids, what culture would you blend with to bring your first child into the world and why?
Even before I realized I was gay I wanted to adopt my future children. I am heartbroken over so many children without homes and have always wanted to make my family that way. So it would be a complete shock to me if my children would be German like me. That being said right now I see a future with KC and if I blended with her the child would be half German and half Caribbean, Cuban and African American.
No matter what race my child is I do plan to force them to eat pork & sauerkraut every single new years and I might even hid a pickle on our Christmas tree!
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(Originally posted here. I left it as she wrote it because she did such a fantastic job!)
If you stood Angela and I side by side, you might see our shared Germanic ancestors peering at you from under our furrowed eyebrows. You might see two different people from two different backgrounds- or you might see two women of two different generations, with a common interest in extracting every last bit of goodness from life. As it turns out, her dad and my husband both grew up in the same town.
My challenge to you is this: have you stepped outside your comfortable corner of the world today and learned someone new? Not just browsed, anecdotally sideways-hugged or loosely contemplated… but really learned.
In closing, and in Neil’s words, “Wouldn’t it be cool, if for one day, we really did believe that everyone really did have an important story to tell online?”
Thank you so much for interviewing me! It was a joy!
