Lost In Splendor

Oh God, internet. Do you know how little I can handle talking about “bathroom issues”? It’s definitely something Loralee and I have in common. I’m blushing just typing about this! However, it’s something that has been coming up a lot in my daily life so here we go. You’ll be so glad I’m back after reading this.

How should I phrase this? I have been having trouble going since I was a teenager. I will only go in certain places at certain times and I really get stressed out about it and have forced myself to hold it far more often than I should. A few times in the past and far too often in the last few months I have had pain and bright red blood almost as much as if I had my period. (So sorry about the TMI.) After one of these episodes it would be extremely painful to go for over a week and I just prayed that it healed before it started to bleed again.

I’ve also just been feeling so bloated and easily made nauseous. My energy has been lower than normal and I’ve been feeling weaker and I just had a feeling it was all related to these bathroom issues I have been having.

I started researching doing a colon cleanse and a lot of the stories I have read people were having the same symptoms as me and they started to go away after they cleansed. Well the notion of having relief and feeling better without going to a doctor (which I don’t have the option of) sounded really good to me.

Then I had to pick which one. Many of them just don’t make sense to me. They have kits in store, but then you find out that it’s a daily regimen you’re supposed to continue permanently after. It doesn’t sound safe to do it for such a prolonged period of time. Then when I looked them up most got terrible feedback and were said to be scams.

I finally chose the Dr. Natura Colonaide (yeah, I got it at Walgreens. I don’t think it’s sold anywhere else yet.) It makes more sense to me because it’s a 14 day program. Every morning you mix a powder into 8 ounces of juice, drink 8 glasses of water during the day and then a cup of their tea every night.

I started it last Friday so I’m only on day 5 of 14, but I have to tell you I’m already feeling so much better. It isn’t uncontrollable. It hasn’t effected my life, but it just makes me feel so much better to go knowing there won’t be any pain.

I’m also feeling really good about drinking so much water. It’s always been hard for me to get into the swing of keeping well hydrated, but knowing that it could make me feel really sick if I don’t has been keeping me motivated and I’m really enjoying it now! I’ve had only water, tea, juice or milk for the last 5 days (I know that doesn’t sound like anything major, but I am a total soda ADDICT) and I’m really excited to continue with it.

I’ll be sure to update once this is all over and let you know how it went (I know you’re dying to know!) For now I’m just really feeling better about my body and health than I have in a while. Hopefully this is the little push I need to get myself in a better direction.

Yesterday at work I had a very slight sore throat and my lungs felt really light. I wasn’t able to breathe in enough to take a deep breath. As the day progressed I started feeling worse and worse until around 8:30 when I was completely weak with a fever and I had the sort of cough that sounds horrible and makes you feel like your lungs are going to explode.

My friends, I believe I have the Swine Flu. Now, I might be being dramatic, but I do now work in the sort of job where I am facing the public for hours daily…as well as their pets.

Okay…just checking in to day I’m not dead or anything. I just feel like I’m going to die. Let’s hope Theraflu mixed with Tylenol Cold Multi-Symptom are enough to kick the Swine Flu’s ass.

Until then I’m going to be cuddling up in bed watching Ugly Betty.

When you are a woman and you have a cold and you are treating that cold there is a little side effect of the medicine that you really hope you don’t have to deal with. Yes, I am talking about a yeast infection.

It didn’t take long for these suspicions to arise. If you have ever had one you know what I am talking about. I started to feel really uncomfortable and my vagina was clearly unhappy. A quick check of the symptoms and I knew I had to tell KC that I needed a run to the store. Is there anything worse than telling your significant other you have a yeast infection?

Well…I suppose telling them you have an STI would worse. Oh God. I don’t know how people make it through that.

KC was great about it and very sympathetic. A trip to the store was immediately undertaken. As I stood in the proper “female” isle at the store, staring at all those pink and purple boxes, I was reminded of when I was in elementary school and got lice. It’s fairly common (at least it was then) for young children in public schools to get them. After she found out my mom and I headed to the local CVS to get medication. I remember feeling so shamed and embarrassed as we stood in line with the bottle of special shampoo. I felt like everyone was looking at me. I remember feeling so dirty and thinking that everyone else thought I was dirty. It’s something that most children go through, but to this day when I think about it my head still feels a little itchy. Horrible.

All those feelings started coming back to me even though this isn’t my first time having a yeast infection and it certainly won’t be the last. I wondered why I felt so bad about it. I should be able to own it. When you have a vagina it is something you are going to eventually have to deal with.

So I pressed those insecurities down chose the appropriate medication (the 3 day version b/c it was cheaper. damn.) put it into my basket and headed about the rest of my shopping with my head held high. Which is ridiculous because it’s not like anyone took any notice anyway. I mean, when their are women in their 30s walking around in pajamas with no teeth and all their “chillin’s” everyone else looks kind of stellar in comparison. Infection of the vagina or not.

Though I swear the check out woman shot me a look!

Let’s just hope this is it though. I think I have had my share of ailments for the time being.

Disclaimer: This post shows some images of stitches and my skin post stitches. If you watch Grey’s Anatomy or CSI you can so handle it.

It’s been 12 days since I got my birthmark removed. I still have to care for the area daily and it doesn’t look normal. I guess it will take a long time to scar. I think it will be so weird to see my skin healed with no birthmark there. It might seem stupid, but it felt like such a part of me.

Here is a picture of what used to be on my back:

Yeah…pretty big…and pretty ugly. So it’s not exactly a loss. It was just part of my body that I came to terms with long ago.

So after 45 minutes they removed it and left me with a bunch of ugly uncomfortable stitches. Poor Kasey had to clean them twice a day and cover them in Vaseline. For being Frankensteinesque they still looked pretty clean and healthy.

The doctor even said they looked great and that I (meaning Kasey) did a superb job of taking care it. I totally agree.

I got the call last week about the results of the biopsy and it was totally CLEAN. That was a relief. I mean, there is always that feeling like it might be something more. It’s great knowing that it’s fine and even better knowing I’ll never have to worry about it again.

Monday morning I went into the doctor’s office to have the stitches removed. It wasn’t awful like I thought it would be, but still quite uncomfortable. Now it just needs to be massaged twice a day with Vaseline and I feel better keeping a bandage on it still. I have these crazy fears of it splitting open now that the stitches aren’t in anymore. Yeah…I tend to be a bit of a hypocondriac. I’m dealing with it!

See the way it pulls up unnaturally at the ends? I hate that. I can’t wait till that goes away.

Next up? A trip to the OB/GYN next month. Hoorah!

I had minor surgery today to remove a birthmark and it totally sucked. It was done because my doctor thought it looked a little suspicious so she set me an appointment at a dermatologist. I suspected that she would look at it tell me it was fine, but to keep an eye on it. Nope. She called in another doctor to look at it and he saw some discoloration and the edges were pretty blotchy. So they recommended that I get it biopsied; however due to the size of it and the varying areas they would have to take several samples and even if it did come out clean she still recommended I get it taken off to avoid future problems. They decided it would most likely be better if I just got the whole thing removed so I could be done with it.

This morning at 9:00 am Kasey took me to the office to get the procedure done. It was awful. I don’t do well with needles and they must have given me about 9 shots in the area to numb it. Then I was awake and fully aware for the 45 minutes it took them to do it. I realize that I couldn’t feel pain, but I could feel the skin pulling and stretching. I could hear the sounds of the equipment they were using…I wanted to be anywhere else.

The worst part, for me, was the stitches. It took them 20 minutes just to do the stitches! I know this because I was directly facing a clock. I guess they had to put some interior stitches in and then 11 (or so they tell me) exterior stitches that I need to go back in 11 days to have removed.

I haven’t seen it yet because I have to keep the bandages on for 24 hours. The birthmark was on my right shoulder so every time I move my arm (and even when I type like this) it hurts. It also doesn’t seem to give a damn about the painkillers I have been taking.

I took a picture of the birthmark before, but I think I will save that for the big reveal after this heals so you can see my brand new lovely scar! Hooray for modern science!

It is odd knowing that a part of me I have had (and had to explain to others constantly) is gone. Apparently it freaked Kasey out a little so I suppose it is all for the best.

For now I am in pain and wishing I wasn’t such a right side sleeper. Hopefully I will be able to fall to sleep tonight on my left side and stay like that.

Oh, they are sending it out for a biopsy, but I have no doubt that will come back nice and clean. The doctor said that even though it has some characteristics that make them feel it should come off and be tested it is mostly a precaution. The fact that it had hair on it, for example, shows it is probably benign. So no worries.